Life after a Tony Robbins Event (or any other motivational event)
The reasons why motivation does not last more than a couple of minutes
Are you familiar with the excitement and uplift you felt during a motivational event or to that matter any training you have followed? You made plans, you are fired up, and you see all the plans in front of you becoming a reality. “This time- you promise to yourself- you are going to take action and do whatever it takes to achieve your plan or implement all the things learned during the training you just followed.”
A couple of days later you can’t even revive the feeling of being all fired up, and what seemed so attainable then, feel going up hill now.
Let you in in a widespread secret… you are not the only one feeling like that. The effects of motivational events do not last longer than saying hello to a stranger.
Why motivation does not last more than a couple of minutes
There are three main reasons why motivational and other training does not have a long lasting effect:
- These one-day or weekend events are designed to pump you up, sell you dreams and, more often than not, sell you more products like one-on-one services, with special prices that last just a couple of hours. So you act on your fear of missing out (FOMO).
- These events are not designed to provide support, and if they do, it is a minimal follow-through – in the form of expensive after-event products and services.
- Motivational speakers cannot motivate people to change behaviour.
Let’s have a look at the definition of behaviour:
Behaviour is a response to an individual or group to an action, environment, person, or stimulus.
Behaviour is driven by our individual’s background, experiences, biases, and beliefs (in other words: culture) and changing one’s set of norms and values is very hard. Motivational speakers, but also short workshops do not have the “power” to change behaviour. Workshops are designed for short term inspiration – a feel good moment. It’s practically impossible for people to go deep enough to reach one’s essence and change it in an instant during a workshop of a couple of hours.
As said, behaviour is linked to norms and values. These are elements of you that took many years to develop and are embed in who you are and how you feel and act. There is no “magic inspirational wand” that can change you in a split of a second, or during a 2-day workshop for that matter.
We need to see these events as “feel good” events that sometimes give you information on skills, techniques and make you curious to find out more. But mainly they are about feeding on people’s needs to feel better, achieve goals and have a better life. Again, no magic wand can do this.
What is most important is the awareness you gain from attending these training and events. The consciousness that you are longing for something more or else. This awareness is going to help you move further if it is what you are looking for. But do not expect that this newly acquired knowledge is going to change you and that suddenly the law of attraction is going to materialise all your dreams and goals. Sadly, it does not work like that!
I have gone to many training and motivational events and read even more books about the subject of motivation, achieving goals, the law of attraction. Hmm, I even wrote a book or two on these topics. And, I have implemented a lot of training programs myself. But it remains a universal truth that these events by themselves will not bring the improvements we are looking for. I have since long not accepted to give training programs that do not offer “after care” in the form of coming back events, group work, and coaching.
If you want to change something, achieve goals or learn personal skills, motivational events can help you get inspired, excited about the possibilities, but you need much more to bring the change. If after such events you are committed to change, be aware there is a long way ahead to achieve the goals and modifications you want. You need to put the hours in, plan, find a way to be accountable and create a system that helps you to stay committed to achieving your goals. It helps to work with a professional coach who can support you.
How does coaching support you in your commitment?
Professional coaches are trained to support you, and it is important that their skill is combined with some distinctive personal traits such as empathy, curiosity and genuine interest in people. A coach helps people to:
- find clarity in the clients’ thoughts
- draft a path for clients to achieve their goals
- see and understand clients’ blind spots and behavior
And is also your supporter – a coach wants the clients to succeed and grow
If you are thinking of hiring a coach, I invite you to read four tips to hire a coach
You might also be interested in:
Is the la-la coach here to stay?
Trends in coaching 2017 – 2020
You can also book a complimentary 30-minute exploration session to check if coaching is for you